Pediatric Enema...No Thank You!

Eldest hadn't pooped in over a week yesterday. A WEEK! This is the kid that when he does poop regularly has man sized craps (I'm talking lumber jack...we use the plunger each time!). We were so worried that he had a link the size of his leg in there! I took him to the doctor to get him checked out and sure enough, he felt the offensive "mass" in his belly. He said if he didn't poop on his own by Friday that we would have to perform a "pediatric enema" on him at home.

Oh Jesus. I did NOT want to do that. Not only would it be a nightmare trying to get this thing where it needed to go, but the result...I JUST HAD THE CARPETS CLEANED!!!

Well, when we got home I upped his dose of Miralax, and made him drink all his "juice". Sure enough (as he's been doing for the past week) about a half hour after finishing he tried to rush off to a secluded space to see if he can "get the poop back in his butt." (his words), but I refused to let him sneak off and sat him right down on the potty.

Oh man was this kid scared, and can you blame him? He hasn't taken out the garbage for almost a week, this was going to be huge! He cried, he tried to hold it in, but the almighty Miralax would not let it happen. I swear you would think my 3 year old was having a baby the way he whined and cried. I felt for him! FINALLY, he gave birth to his monster crap, and we both did the happy dance...and we both had lolipops.

I went to flush...with my fingers crossed that it would go down. NO CHANCE! I plunged like my life depended on it for about 3 minutes before I finally got the toilet to flush properly. Really, when did this become my life? When did my biggest accomplishment become plunging before the toilet over-flows?

Oh well, at least that's over with...what's next?

I "Heart" Line Dancing

OK, yes, I am from North Carolina, but that doesn't mean I'm all Yee-haw and Tush Push!

Tonight we went to the Raging River in Fall City and had the BEST time learning all the latest and greatest line dances from our friends down there. It was SO fun, and I can't wait to go back.

They also have Karaoke every Thursday night...I think this will be my new "water hole" for a while! If you can't find me, I'll be singing Charlie Daniels down at the Raging River!!!

see you there!

Jess has Created a Monster

For months my friend Jess has been trying to get her "older" friends to join sites like MySpace and FaceBook, and I always tell her I'm to "old" for that crap. I'm not looking for men, and I don't have time to set up a cool site where my favorite song plays automatically when you click my profile.

Well, yesterday, Jess posted photos from her birthday party (which I have yet to blog about...it was awesome, I just can't seem to find the words for the evening...), and I wanted to see them, so I signed up.

Now, in the past I have signed up for MySpace, but only to keep an eye on who was befriending my teenage neice (hey, I watch Dateline!), and it was so complicated to sign up on their site that I knew I would never take the time to set anything up...and I figured I would have the same experience at similar sites.

Well, I was wrong. I signed up for facebook yesterday and it was so easy, and instantly addictive. FaceBook is like crack cocaine for moms that stay home and want a break from reality while their kids nap or watch a movie. Before I knew it I had sent out a million friend requests for family and friends that I want to keep in touch with, had posts on my wall, had created a little stick figure family for myself, and today I added most shows and bands I am a big fan of. I can't get enough of this site!

Thank you Jess, here is yet another "sparkley" in my day of wiping asses and taking names.

This weather sucks

I know I've mentioned the weather being horrible before (like in every post), but I just want to share my latest theory.

I am pretty sure Eldest is just as affected by the weather as I am. When he's stuck inside all day due to cold temps and rainy skies, he turns into the most annoying kid. A lot more hitting, spitting, pushing, and basic defiance.

Yesterday he was awesome. He played well, he listened and was helpful, he was outside most of the day, he and I talked about the things around us, and he enjoyed playing with Youngest. Yesterday it was sunny and 75.

Today he woke up in a crappy mood, threw a fit about brushing his teeth, has laid on the couch most of the morning, and just started pounding on me while I was on the phone with a friend. Today it is bairly 50 and cloudy.

GRRRRR

Smokey the Bear

Smokey the Bear was so fun on Friday. I only wish it was warmer so we could have walked around the lake more. The forest firemen built a campfire in the parking lot and the kids all gathered around to throw rocks in it and see who was brave enough to get the closest. I think Eldest won the competition. Anything dangerous has a pull on him like gravity. I've given up on yelling at him about it. He's old enough and stable enough on his feet to get close to the fire. He's also old enough to know better than to touch it, so I figured if he got to close and singed himself, he would learn a valuable lesson and it wouldn't have to involve me running around trying to coral him. When Smokey came out he was a little shy about having his photo taken with him, so he stood about 2 feet away and said "cheese!"



Later on though he and Smokey were old pals and he even handed Smokey a few rocks to put in the fire as well. I think his favorite part of the demonstration (besides the fire of course) was the fire hose. They all got to take turns holding the hose, and Eldest had his rain coat on, so he stood in the spray...happy as a clam.





I look forward to more trips like this when the weather gets warmer. It was 63 degrees in my house this morning, and the temp has risen to 65. I usually turn the heat on when it gets to 64. I really can't believe its mid June and the freakin' heat still needs to be on!

So many updates, so little time

I find that I am full of ideas for the blog today, and I am going to have a post explosion if time is on my side today, which it may just be.

First, Crazy Mommy's is officially out of business. Last Friday was my last day watching Bean and Peanut and we ended our time together by going to see Smokey the Bear. It was a very fun and exhausting experience that I was happy to do for my friend in need, but I have certainly learned that I am not cut out to be a daycare provider. I have no idea how people do this from their home full time!! It's given me a new found appreciation for my two guys!

Yesterday the weather was beautiful here (for once), and I spent the day working out, grocery shopping, and reading outside while Eldest played and Youngest napped. We then ended the day with a walk to the park. It was so nice. Of course, today, the clouds and cool temps have returned. Aparently its the coldest June on record and it hasn't been nearly this cold in 100 years. lucky us. Its always been the joke that Summer doesn't start in the NW until July 4th, but even the weatherman is hesitant and is saying we shouldn't expect it until July 12th. UGH!

Father's Day was a blast, and the weather was nice that day as well. I purchased Rob a crock pot as a gesture to him that I would make real meals more often. I was getting into the habit of not having anything ready for dinner forcing him to eat frozen chicken patties, or PB&J for dinner after I had given the kids Mac n cheese. I am hoping the crock pot will help me get dinner ready earlier in the day when I'm awake and happy to prep everything. So far its worked great. We've had pot roast and chicken fajitas. I tell you, there's nothing nicer than smelling dinner in your house all day knowing you're done and just have to serve it.

OK, I'm off to organize my thoughts and post about the funnier things in life. Pictures WILL be included.

So Proud

In addition to yesterdays craziness, there was one thing that happened that just made me beam with happiness. We went for a walk in the afternoon and played at the school play ground for a while. I've noticed that Eldest has begun to say hello to just about everyone he meets, which is so cute, but yesterday was awesome. At the park he first met a little girl at the slides, and said "look mom, she's my friend!" and then he asked her name and asked if she wanted to slide down together at the same time. They did and it was so cute. She left soon after that and he said goodbye.

Following that we played and played and played at the park and I finally decided it was time to go. Just then a boy showed up (probably 6-7) and Eldest ran over to him, asked his name, told him his, and then asked if he wanted to play. The boy said yes, and they were off, climbing, sliding and running. It was amazing. last summer I couldn't get this kid to play with the friends he's had for years, but now he'll play with someone he's never met!

We said goodbye to this new friend and saw some of his good friends on the way back to the house. I stopped to talk with the moms and he ran all over the place with these boys and it was fun to watch him play along and engage, instead of being shy and reserved. I was so proud of him!

My little Houdini!

Yesterday was a crazy day around our house. I had a roof guy, contractor, and tile guy come to the house all within minutes of each other and keeping the kids happy while I met with each one was a real balancing act. While our contractor was here I discovered that Eldest has figured out the front door and I saw him playing on the front porch. I gave him a good talking to about it, and secured the door, but found him out there again just an hour later. I'm going to get those upper latches they can't reach!

As if getting out the front door wasn't bad enough, after our walk yesterday I left the kids playing in the back yard while I ran inside to get the phone. I was gone for maybe 20 seconds and in that time Eldest found something to stand on, unlatched the back gate and was down the alley way, with Youngest headed down the driveway after him.

I can no longer trust him to play outside by himself, which is a total bummer!! However, I will not be thwarted, there has to be some way to child proof the gate so he can't get out on his own. As for Youngest, I'll start using the rounded gate unit we purchased at the garage sale. I swear I should tie a string to them and stake it into the ground so they can't go very far!

These two are master escape artists!!

Anytime before 6:00 is just to early...and 6:00 is pushing it

I really don't understand why kids need to get up so early. We've tried everything to get Youngest to sleep later than 5:30! We've kept him up late, given him a snack before bedtime, and refused to get him out of bed until 6:00, but nothing is working. Like clock work, he's up at 5:30...banging on his crib and making all those baby noises, that are only cute after 8:00 AM.

What's worse is the course of events to follow. Inevitably, one of us is pissed about the early wake up call. We go in, try to put Youngest back down, only to be thwarted by one or both of our cats. They will start whining just as we're starting to warm up under the covers again. Then we're up again, putting them out, which will wake Youngest once again and that's when you throw your hands up, and stomp into your closet for a sweat shirt (because it's still cold enough to snow here!), and say "Guess I'll start the day!"

It's really no way to start the day. No one should be MADE to get up before they want to, yet as parents, this is just a fact of life. The ideal day would begin with my getting up before my kids so I could shower and put myself together. However, getting up at 4:00 AM is just insanity. Instead, I wake up almost everyday upset that I have to be awake and end up staying in what I slept in until the kids go to bed when I can finally take a shower. When did this become my life? Suddenly I envy my friends that are working, not because they're getting paid, or have some purpose outside of being a mom, but because they actually get to take a shower before starting their day!

hmmm, I don't know how this became optional (or not an option) for me. When I was working full time, my husband and I would work together to jugle Eldest while the other was getting ready. I see no reason for this to have changed, except the assumption that because I'm home all day I either have no reason to shower, or I have time to shower sometime later in the morning.

Truth is, I can't trust these kids to behave for the 15 minutes I'm in the shower, and there's something relaxing about taking a shower and getting dressed in peace. Not feeling rushed, and not having kids crawling/running around getting into all your crap! Who knew the simple act of showering would become such a luxory in life!

The Heat is On

Here I sit at 8:00 AM PT, on JUNE 6, 2008 and the heat in my house is on. The high temp for today will be 54 with rain showers.

This has been the forecast for the past two months. For crying out loud, we had warmer weather in February. This time last year I was going to the park almost daily. I'm so tired of this weather.

What makes matters worse is the actual location of our neighborhood. 8 years ago when I moved here I didn't realize that our area gets the most rain of any other in Western Washington. Really, how lucky am I??

Last night my friend Sarah and I drove into Seattle to sign up for the Danskin Triathlon and in Seattle it was sunny. Beautiful even, not warm, but seeing the sun made it seem like summer in our minds. The event ended at 8:00 PM, but neither of us wanted to go back home...we didn't want to leave the sun. Reluctantly we walked back to the car, talking about how we were never meant to live in a planned community anyway, and the city had more culture for our kids to experience. By the end of our ride back to "Mordor" we were convinced that selling our homes and buying condos downtown was the responsible thing to do...that, or move to Arizona and help our husbands open a rock garden landscaping business.

As we approached the mountains, the black and gray clouds started to surround us signaling that Mother Nature was about to take another dump in our back yards. What did we ever do to her? (don't answer that)

And as a Follow Up...

you know one of the worst side effects of child birth? Having NO MORE BLADDER CONTROL! I mean none. If you have water and then laugh, cough, sneeze...etc. you can almost gaurantee you're going to wet your pants in some form. You can imagine then, what it must be like to run at top speeds with this same problem. I swear, when I am done having kids, I'm having that fixed! I don't want to start wearing depends to my softball games! I'm going on 32 for crying out loud...not 102!

Sure, sure, some of you can try to deny this very unglamorous part of having kids. I know we would all like to think that after having our babies our bodies go right back to where they used to be, but I prefer to just put as much info out there as I can for ladies who are pregnant with their 1st or thinking of it. You've been warned! Next time you're at a party, and someone says something totally hillarious, cross your legs before you laugh out loud.

Last Time I Checked, We Were Playing for Fun.

You know what I really dislike almost to the point of saying I "hate" them? Cocky, intermural softball teams. I detest them for two reasons: 1) this is intermural softball, not the pros. Stop holding up the game because you think the call at 1st was wrong and cursing because you aimed it toward our right side and we actually caugh your wanna be home run and 2) These jerks always get into my head.

Last night I sucked. There's no other word for it. They were aiming for the right side all night and I missed 80% of what came my way, fumbled the ball when I did catch it, and was just plain exhausted from running out into the field to relay the ball back in. Usually I can shake it off and just remind myself we're here for fun, but not last night. After the frustration I've had at home, I just wanted to get out there and do something well, and it wasn't happening.

To make matters worse we were playing a cocky intermural softball team of guys and gals. I knew they were trouble the first inning when one of their guys was tossed out at 1st and he stomped and cursed about it. Later on, another one of his teammates hit a double, and our shortstop was upset because she stopped the ball, but it was going to fast and she fumbled it a bit and missed the out. It happens to the best of us, but she's competative so she was upset with herself. The jerk on base had to open his mouth...She said (to herself) "jeez, I knew he was coming to me and I just wasn't ready", DB on 2nd starts in with "you didn't know where I was hitting." Short tells him that she could just tell and she was angry about the play (angry at herself), he tells her she couldn't have known and to stop being angry at him about it, she tells him he doesn't know her and to just keep it to himself, he doesn't and continues to say "you're acting like a jerk and actually you've been a jerk to all of us this whole game." Let me tell you, we had not said 'boo' to these people since the game started. The way he said it, he may have as well called her a "B-*-T-C-H" and I lost it. After having all those bad plays and then having this a-hole smack talk my friend for no good reason the funk was on.

I had been beat on and back talked too by a 3 year old boy all day long, I wasn't about to take it from a 30 year old child. I told him to back off, and that was the end of it. However I woudl be lying if I didn't say I was hoping he would just keep it coming because, although I can't scream and curse at my 3 year old, NOTHING would have stopped me from doing it to this loser. Unfortunately he kept his cool...I didn't. I was angry the rest of the game, my game didn't improve, we got our asses handed to us, and in the end I was playing catcher.

Once again, I let it all get into my head! Whatever, time to let it go and move on. Next week we have earlier games and with the promise of a few beers following, I don't think anything could get my spirits down!

What Did He Just Call Me?

Never in my life have I been so tired. "Crazy Mommy's" has been going well, and the kids I'm watching are SO easy, but I don't think it matters what temperament the kids have, put four in one house and you're exhausted at the end of the day. This is why I haven't updated the blog in a while, but I do have a few tidbits to add that I hope will entertain.

The first event happened yesterday and I expect it to keep happening for a while. Yesterday, instead of the usual Mommy, mom, or "hey you!", Eldest called me Mrs. Beth. After a few weeks of hearing Bean call me that, I think he found it more effective at getting my attention. Today I noticed he's even mastered the art of sounding like Bean, which makes me laugh even more. I don't think my son even knew my real name until now! HA HA. It's so cute though. Today they both snuck upstairs while I was folding laundry during "baby" nap time, and Eldest starts off "Mrs. Beth? We're hungry and Thirsty." I smiled and laughed and gave him a big hug. So cute.

Of course, not a moment later I was so angry I could spit...yes, at the same child that made my heart melt just minutes prior. Eldest and Bean play long and hard while they're together, and I don't think Eldest recovered from yesterdays session and so he had a short fuse today...couple that with mine and our house can get explosive quickly. I put him in countless time outs for hitting, spitting, pushing, slapping, and screaming...all at me. After my friend picked up her little ones I shut the door, turned around and promptly scooped up Eldest and brought him to his room. I said "you're going to bed right now, no dinner." This began an hour long battle, but I had had enough and nothing else was working and I need him to know I AM IN CHARGE! He refused to put on pajamas, so I just put him in bed in underwear, and left the room. He came downstairs countless times and I picked him up and brought him back each and every time. Finally he managed to calm himself enough to tell me he did want his jammies on...and mac n cheese. He looked defeated, and so tired. I put his jammies on and brought him downstairs. He mindlessly watched coverage of Hillary Clinton's speech while the Easy Mac warmed in the microwave. He inhaled it, then said "time for bed". This was at 5:45 PM and he was asleep by 6:00. Youngest went to bed right after that and I took a shower to wash the mung of the day off.

I tell you, trying to force a 3 year old boy to take off clothes or put them on is like wrestling with an alligator. One thing is for sure, I got my workout in today!

Tomorrow is a new day. Finding a way to help Eldest communicate his emotional and physical feelings with me has always been one of my greatest challenges, and I find myself getting so angry with him for being such a Neanderthal about it. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have more patience and he'll be better rested.